TV Shows

Here are my thoughts on some TV shows I never watch but make me feel uneasy whenever the commercial comes on for them:

Undercover Boss – Hey employees, the new guy with the fake mustache who looks really awkward in your cheap work hats and has all the camera’s following him around is the CEO. Pretend like you care about your job.

Intervention – Drug addicts, no one on Earth does “Documentaries about addiction” okay. I thought all you guys did was lay around and watch TV, you have to have seen this one coming. You’re about to get “Interventioned” so down all your stash now while you still can!

Duggars – Fuk you people, just fuk you. You are why everyone else hates Americans.

Badgirls Club – (See my thoughts on those assholes with 30 kids, the exact same thing applies to you).

Ice, Swamp or Hillbilly Truckers/Loggers/Fisherman/People – You win, you’re tougher than every other human on the planet, good job with that.

All Cake making bosses or people – I know how amazing you must feel that in the past few years you’ve gotten all this attention from America. But it’s more because we’ve become zombies that hate our lives so much we don’t mind just mindlessly watching some other asshole fight with people they work with. It makes us feel better to see you blow your top and look like a fool on TV, but I want you to know that there isn’t anything about making cakes that makes you amazing. You make cakes, people eat cake, done. That’s all there is, just know that okay.

Terranova – Umm… losers, why don’t you just go to a time period in Earths 5 billion year history that didn’t have gigantic man eating creatures everywhere? How about the Devonian period? The high oxygen content would have allowed you to run faster and have more energy, and there was no large land animals to eat you yet, isn’t that nice? Or maybe the Eocene, yeah there were some dangerous carnivores but mammals have larger frontal cortexs so they’d understand fear a little better and you could scare them off with your futureish automatic rifles and ability to make fire. p.s. You suck.

Toddlers in Tiaras – Everyone already hates you, I shouldn’t rub it in any further.

Anything Trump is attached to – The reason why I know there is no God is because you are who you are. There is no justice in the universe, we’re all just random collections of molecules interacting for a short time before we dissolve away back into the elements that made us. If there was any more to it, you’d not be in the position you are currently in.